A Foreward About Sobriety
(Of the three books I’ve written so far, the third was the only one with a foreward. I thought it captured the collection’s spirit and tone well enough to stand on its own.)
My father was a writer, a photographer, a rebel, and on occasion—, quite the drinker.
While I did follow in his footsteps to a point, it was the negative instead of the positive qualities which I embodied most.
For a decade’s worth of wasting away underneath the flames of fire-water, I didn’t write as much as I’d hoped to. I don’t think drinkers ever do. We may set out with a fresh sheet of paper and pen at the beginning of the night, only waking up several hours later to find the page still blank and our thoughts still trapped inside our hazy minds.
At some point within the self-induced delirium, the madness must come to a sudden and abrupt end. Finally on May 4th, 2016–, I decided I’d had enough. Enough of the headaches, the racing heart-rates, and the many mistakes which come with living such a recklessly rebellious lifestyle.
In the years since, I’ve learned more about overall life and my role in it than the previous decade-plus. It was only after sobering up that I finally began realizing how beautifully intricate everything is. Every thought, action, and human connection we make with one another leads to something greater, something grander.
This world is too wonderful to live our lives in a constant state of perpetual drowning. Things make more sense sober, I feel more of myself, and I see in such a wider scope through clear, unaltered eyes.
With all of that said, there is something about crossing consciousness-wires that keep a person coming back into the fog. Whether it be the different types of thoughts one thinks, the new angles on old emotions one experiences, or the overall feeling of flying one succumbs to—, there is a lot of potential creativity waiting to be discovered through foreign chemicals.
The question then becomes; “is it worth it?” From my personal experience, no. Anything I had to say under the influence I only said better after becoming sober. Either way, there are some thoughts, scenes, and rationales that deserve a once-through by the curious reader. So here is my anthology of dreamy and druggy realities.
Maybe the writer in my father would be proud. Maybe he wouldn’t. However, I truly think that above all, my father was a dreamer. So they say; “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” And in my case, it certainly didn’t.